Greta never poses for the camera. She’s just a natural.
Jack got a new “edgy” jacket from Camden market, designed to look like a Sudanese man and a bike.
Mark, Petra and Mila are going to have a threesome and you are not invited.
Francis got his nose pierced at a Full Moon Party in Phuket and you didn’t.
Digby has just had a perm, and he bloody loves it.
Vic drives a hybrid and is therefore definitely going to heaven.
Edward’s rented fancy dress costume is much better than your homemade piece of crap.
"Hi! Soz missed ur call erlier. Am in Thailand on beach. Sun shining! Wish u were hr. G2G now off 4 massage w/ real authentc thai person. CU in a few months."
Tony just had a shit, shower and a shave.
June: “OMG. It’s, like, so weird that you have to drink Diet Coke to stay thin. I must just be naturally thin.”
Ryan just made a funny about seeing a camel toe.
William finds your digital camera hilarious because it’s only 5 megapixels.
Cherie only eats natural products that have been hand-reared by carbon-neutral Bolivian babies with sun tan lotion on.